Med V Panic!!

Woah! Time flies and I’m now a final year medical student! (*panic alarm rings!*) A year from now, I will have a Dr. in front of my name, together with all the responsibilities that comes with it. The thought of it has always been terrifying to me, as I have a constant doubt on myself.

‘I am just not good enough!’

‘Impossible, it is just not possible that I can be a good doctor next year this time’

‘Oh man, I should have studied more! What have I been doing all this while?’ 


Few more things to add into this madness…

‘Where should I do my holiday electives? Should I actually do it to improve myself or take it as a holiday to spend more time with my family?’

‘ Malaysia HO and MO training, specialist training prospect’!

‘Internships in Australia? Super limited space and I don’t have a strong CV!’ 

‘Should I take PLAB or USMLE, keeping my options open?’

‘What my IELTS has expired! And I have to score band 7 and above for each section? >.<‘


These are some of the things that are on top of my head right now, and year 5 is definitely a challenging year and I certainly do have a lot to think of. The good thing about Monash University medical programme is that our VIA and final exam was done in year 4, and this year we are being treated as ‘pre-interns’ and our aim is to learn how to be an intern next year, which gives me a focus to pick up on practical skills, know the crucial medical conditions inside out and fine-tune on my procedural skills.

With this in mind, I have noticed that I am now much more involved in the treating team, rather than tagging along like I used to be during my third and fourth year. Though it is always scary to put myself upfront and to volunteer and actively participate in the team, I have noticed some changes in me now. By throwing myself into the ‘fire’, I am able to have more learning opportunities and have gained a lot of confidence in myself. That being said as the programme is very much self-directed, your level of involvement depends on your own motivation and drive, something I have been trying to work on since I first entered med school. 


At the end of the day, medicine is a life-long process and I guess I will have to just take it one step at a time. =) Any advice on future career pathways, how to be organised or anything at all would really be very helpful for this lost soul! 


Book Review & Thoughts: little victims

little victim

Since the first time I landed my eyes on this book in the Big Bad Wolf Sales, I know that I’m so deeply attracted to it cause I bought it even though the cover was not in a good shape (when usually I’m a person who judges the book by its cover! =p). And that night the first book that I reached unsurprisingly was this book, Little Victims by Harry Keeble with Kris Hollingtin.

Based on true stories of British’s vulnerable children, the author tells us his encounter as a cop in the Child Protection unit with several vividly described cases brilliantlly weaved together. From a mother who shook her daughter to death to children who were caged for several years, the cases were utterly shocking. My heart totally went out for the little victims and those around them who also suffered the collateral damage. Some of the kids even have to relive their nightmare in the courtroom, which is usually a very intimidating and traumatising experience to them.

Reading the book was like a roller coaster ride of emotions to me, shocked and sad for the kids who have to go through the ordeal, frustrated when justice did not prevail to them, and relieved when some of them managed to have a better life with their family after being rescued. But what deeply moved me was how courageous, resillient and loving the kids were, despite after going through all the ordeal and torment. For more than a few times, I have to draw myself out from the book for a while as I was so deeply affected by the cases.

On the other note, the book also gives the general public a rare chance to understand how the police, social workers, teachers, healthcare profession and even the public community work together to protect and save the children from potential dangers as much as they could. The author also highlighted some of the reasons that delays or toughens the job of child protection and provided suggestions on improvements on various fields. Besides, the author responded to his feedback from his first book with much concern and welcomed feedback for this book humbly (this book is his 2nd installment on child abuse, the first one being Baby X, which is currently in my wish list! 🙂 ).

All in all, this book has left a very huge impact on me and I’m certain it will live in me for years to come. A very big thank you to Harry Keeble and his team for the great work in giving us the rare opportunity to have a glimpse of how does Child Protection works and be aware of the various forms of child abuse.

postsecret abuse


A few days after reading this book, the news of the shooting of 26 children and adult in Sandy Hook Elementary school was in the headline of newspaper worldwide, leaving the world in shock and horror. These little victims and the teachers who fought bravely to protect their children will be mourned and be in our hearts forever.

Closer to home, in Alor Star (my hometown 😦 ), a 2 year old boy died after suffered from serious head injuries as a result of abuse by his mother’s boyfriend. According to the victim’s grandmother, during his last visit in August the grandmother has noticed some bruises and bite marks on his grandson’s body and had lodged a police report against the boyfriend. Sadly, it didn’t stop the tragedy to fall onto her beloved grandson.

Child abuse is a serious offense which is often neglected as the little ones are often too young to ask for help or assistance. It is therefore to the public, to us to be more sensitive and pick up the tell-tale signs, and to notify the authorities responsible for it. In Malaysia, there is a service available whereby the society can give tip-offs to the officers in charge annonymously by calling Nur at 15999. Who knows, this small action might just save the life of a little victim.


postsecret abuse 2

** P.S.: images (aside from book cover) are from Postsecrets.